Dealing with Infidelity

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Dealing with Infidelity

Post  natashachamberlin on Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:40 am

Dealing with Infidelity

Unfortunately, there comes a time in many long-term relationships when one or both partners have an intimate encounter with someone else. It is perhaps the most painful experience a couple ever encounters. How should a couple deal with infidelity? Should they try to make it work and stay together, or is the damage to the relationship beyond repair?

2 Responses to “Dealing with Infidelity”


Tina Says:
March 27th, 2008 at 1:04 pm I think a lot depends on the circumstances of the affair. If it was a one-night stand and the cheating partner is remorseful, the relationship probably could be repaired with some good counseling.
If it was an affair that went on for an extended period of time, it would take an extremely forgiving person to be able to stay in the marriage. A lot would depend, also, on how he or she was being treated after the affair. Again, counseling would be essential.
If one of the partners has had more than one affair, I would advise them to leave the marriage if possible because there’s a good chance their partner won’t change. No one needs that continuing heartache in their life.
Of course, you would have to think about the financial consequences and act wisely.


BeenThere Says:
March 31st, 2008 at 3:03 pm Infidelity is indeed one of the biggest causes of the breakdown of relationships, whether marriage or otherwise. Typically, the one who strays feels guilty, and may try to deny what happened (or is happening); the one who is faithful feels betrayed and hurt beyond belief. The best hope that a relationship can survive this trauma is if both partners sincerely want to repair the damage and to rebuild trust in themselves and in each other. Otherwise there is little hope.
A lot depends on whether this was a one-time indiscretion in a moment of weakness–perhaps involving drink or drugs–or a longer term tryst. The former is easier to explain, to understand, and to forgive if the perpetrator is truly remorseful.
The latter is the tough one–it implies deliberate deceit and betrayal. The betrayer must first end the outside relationship completely, then try to explain why it happened and why it will never happen again–neither are easy things to do. The one betrayed must decide if the explanations and assurances are believable, and if it would ever be possible to forgive and move on–once more, not easy things to do. This is a situation where some intense professional counseling is almost essential for the relationship to have any chance of survival.
The good news is that there are couples who have faced this crisis and come through it, albeit after a great deal of anguish.
The bottom line is, if you are unhappy with your relationship, first try to fix it. If that doesn’t work, then perhaps ending the relationship is the best course. Having a clandestine affair is no solution to anything.


Helping children cope with divorce/separation
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

When a couple makes the difficult decision to end a relationship, the effect on the children is one of the biggest concerns. With less time with each parent and possible changes in living arrangements and lifestyle, it can be a stressful and anxiety-filled time in a young person’s life. What can parents do to help their children cope?

http://blog.elderwisdomcircle.org/?p=62
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natashachamberlin
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